by Natalie Dekel.
I feel so low that sometimes life seems meaningless. I am lost in my black well of emotions. Lost in that darkness that threatens to overwhelm me if only I let it. I started praying for help. It is the only thing I feel I can do.
Then as I was walking on my way to the University something amazing has happened. Out of the blue I was lifted up in the air, a few inches above the ground. My eyes stripped of the veil of illusion and I see the World as it Is for the first time in my life.
Everything and everyone are made from the same matter: a shimmering continuously moving mass of energy. Sparks of light threading their way to and fro in all directions intricately weaving the fabric of Life in which people, animals and buildings take place like soldiers in chess.
I continue to walk but really am floating in midair, observing people who carry on in their lives as if nothing extraordinary happens right this moment. How amazing, I am enveloped in this soul shattering sense of peace. I feel Loved in every pour of my Being and here just below me people walk with their heads down drawn by the force of gravity that defies the beauty and the Love that permeates all. This is totally amazing!
I feel privileged for being given the opportunity to see Life for what it is even for a second. In fact I am not sure whether my experience lasted a nano-second or half an hour; it all feels so intense and so overwhelming that it is unforgettable and is imprinted into my heart.
How on earth can I go back to my life before this? I cannot go back to my dark thoughts any more, it is absurd! My darkness is the veil itself, the indulgence in the illusion of separation from that beauty which is Life. I am so blessed I was given this chance to see.
20 Jan 2013. Uploaded 6 March 2013.
© Natalie Dekel.
i also want to feel loved/